Friday, December 16, 2011

Adoptive Big Brothers

I figured I'd share this with my "followers" because all of them know and can appreciate the individuals involved.

So I was having a lovely morning, I dressed in real clothes, I did more with my hair than putting it in a ponytail, and I was making blessed hot chocolate while Ury the Car was heating up outside. I was talking to Trina and Mama Russell in the kitchen about how Stephen had scared Mama Russell again, jumping from behind a door and growling his dinosaur roar. I told them wryly that I'm very familiar with that roar. Then, as I was getting ready to walk out the door to go to work, Stephen and Paul entered the house from who knows where. I hugged Mama Russell good bye, Paul forced a hug from me while he was on the phone, and then I went outside.

I found my car seat slid all the way forward (making it a little difficult to get in). As soon as I saw it I yelled, "PAULLL!!!!!!" When I got in my car I looked up and saw a face poking through the front door to see my reaction. I yelled at him again - he looked gleeful.

Thank you, Trina, for these big brothers that cause me more trouble than my biological big brothers.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


Happy Thanksgiving!
What a great holiday Thanksgiving is!! I'm thankful for THANKSGIVING! It basically gives us blessings automatically because when we are showing our gratitude, we're being blessed, and Thanksgiving means showing gratitude for what we have.

I was discussing with a co-worker Thanksgiving plans and he said, "Thanksgiving is just the best holiday. There's no pressure like there is on the other holidays, you can just stay home and relax. Eat, sleep, relax." Indeed. I'm enjoying not having to do homework, not having to work, and being too far away from home to clean my room. It's great.

If you're wondering, that little clip thing above was something I did for D&C. I had to select a section from D&C and kind of CONNECT to it. This was one of those. My favorite D&C scripture is D&C 58:21: "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hands in all things, and obey not his commandments." Pretty self-explanatory - BE THANKFUL! Recognize that everything wonderful and joyous and even those trials that strengthen to you were given to you by the Lord.

Last year I wrote a blog of 50 different things I am grateful for, this year I wanted to do fifty MORE things which were different from THOSE. To save you some reading time, I'm going to stick with expanding on the things I mentioned above.

I know we don't LOOK so happy as we sing our Les Miserables, but it was sure one of the highlights of my youth and music is one of the highlights of my young adulthood. Trina, Adrianne, Janna, and I loved to sing, and it was fun because we all were BLESSED with talents in that area. Not only did we get to do something we enjoyed, but we were blessed when we shared it for others.

I have three callings, all of which have to do with music, and it was essentially the same in my last ward. I am the ward music co-chair, RS music coordinator, and stake music co-chair (I basically train myself). There are some months, like last month, when things feel like they are crazy busy and a little overwhelming. I was writing the Christmas program, planning musical numbers, meeting with my ward and stake, training the co-chairs, and planning choir numbers for General Conference. This was also when Trey was getting off his mission, and I was spending time with my family. I love it. I love being busy. I love that I can work in something that everyone appreciates, encourage others to share their beautiful talents, and strengthen my own testimony of revelation for my calling. It's super great. :)

Ward Family
On Sunday I had a moment during Sacrament Meeting where I heard a part of a talk I'd been needing all week. It made me burst into tears. After Sacrament, many members of my ward family converged on me with hugs and tissues and concern. It was sweet. It's nice to know that when my parents are an ocean away, I still have a secondary family 200+ large to turn to (after my siblings of course).

Education at BYU
I was so excited for this semester to end because it's been rough. I gave up like a month ago and have just been hanging on by my fingernails while I waited for it to end. Now that it's ending, we're hitting the crux of the learning in each class. This involves writing papers - and those papers make me realize how much I really do love what I'm learning.

I'm thankful that I can learn those things at BYU. I'm grateful that BYU has such a great Editing program. I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about having my values questioned or constantly worry over offending someone by talking about my faith. I love that most (if not all) of my classes can talk about some principle and then relate the gospel to it. And we can say it out loud!

I'm writing this on a laptop. I play word games with friends on my phone. I check my email and Facebook while in a car for seven hours. I can listen to one of my favorite books while dozing (though I'll admit it doesn't work very well). I can read my scriptures on my phone. Our stake president says to take advantage of the great technology around us, while not letting it distract us from the important things. I'm thankful for the technology making my life easier - writing a ten-page paper by hand would not be comfortable on my weak wrists.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Firstly, trains are comfy and fun to sleep on. Nuff said. Secondly, going to work and school would be HORRIBLE without my car.

Finally, my parents are coming for Christmas. On a plane. It'll take them 24 hours to travel 8,000 miles. Planes are awesome.

Job/Financial Stability
I have a great job, with great people, which gives me great money to pay for my needs. Each member of my family has jobs they're happy with, and no one is struggling financially. That in itself is just one major blessing everyone wants and sadly not everyone has.

Growing up in China was one of the biggest blessings for my family and me. We're super close, we are not ignorant about the world, and the ease with which we could've not lived the gospel in the Land of Few Mormons just boosted the blessings for choosing to live the gospel with happiness. People ask me how different it was living in China - it wasn't different, the USA is different! Because China is my home. That's where my parents are and that's where I grew up physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

DUCKS! (aka God's Creations)
I get an inexplicable joy from seeing ducks. Walking across campus and seeing two little mallards waddling around just makes me hop around with excitement! I nearly flipped out when I saw a little family of ducks waddling across a road once. SO CUTE!

Extending this to "God's creations" -- which things bring you inexplicable joy? Just looking at it? The mountains? Horses? Babies? God created all of those and he did it so we would have joy from them.

These things are pretty similar in their bringing me joy. Quite literally, reading the scriptures daily keeps me from slipping into depression, which obviously keeps me happy. The gospel makes me feel love for those around me, for Christ, and that brings me joy. The gospel makes me feel loved. I don't think there's anything more wonderful than feeling loved. Which leads me to my final, and far from least gratitude...

I have to divide these guys into their own.

Daddy-O: I don't think I know anyone smarter or harder-working than my dad. We were discussing recently how he gets a new job and quickly becomes an EXPERT on what he is doing. He goes from boxes to tire repairs to lettuce to cleaning supplies and he learns everything about each of the fields and does his best job. And he does it for our family. I don't think he's ever worked harder than when he didn't have a job, searching daily for new means to support his family. Not only is he just AWESOME that way - but he's super cute. We love to play with our daddy, and be spoiled by him, and snuggle with him. I love my Daddy.

Ewemama: My mom may not realize how patient she is. She deals with small children, stupid adults, and rebellious children (that's me) and she does it all with validation, love, and listening. She's the most creative person you'll ever meet. She claims all her ideas come from the internet, but not everyone is intelligent enough to actually take those ideas and create them into the awesomeness my mom does. I'm thankful that's she taught a little of that to me. I love my Mama.

Tristan: He's very forgiving in nature. I'm pretty much a jerk, and he still wants to hang out and go to dinner with me. I love to spend time with him when I can manage it, watching movies, Ponies, eating McDonalds, etc. I love me some Big Brother.

Trina/Stephen: These guys are nutso and in love but in a way that makes me enjoy watching them and not being sickened. I'm thankful for my big sister who is a good example and guide and who still likes to play and watch TV shows - and I know she may not be, but I'm thankful for the moments when she finds bugs in her hot chocolate and comes squealing for comfort. I'm thankful for Stephen because he is pretty much an awesome big brother, and he cleans the house, and he serves my sister. They're great. I'll be sad when they move, but I'm thankful I've gotten to live with them for this long. I love em.

Trey: My other big brother. He got home from his mission the same guy, albeit a little more patient and loving and understanding. It's been great to have him at church with me and when I burst into tears he just puts his arm around me. I think he's seen me cry more since he has gotten back than my family has while he's been gone, poor guy, but it's been good for him. I'm training him for when he has a nutso wife he won't be surprised. I love Trey! And I'm thankful he's finally home.

Basically, I love my life. I love my family. I'm grateful to the Lord for putting me with THEM and nobody else. I'm thankful for Thanksgiving when I can reflect on all of this and make everyone else reflect on it with me. :) SO, Happy Thanksgiving! Remember, as you're being grateful, Who it is that gave you everything you have.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Late night thoughts on rubber ropes...

I'll try to be brief since it is 1am and I would like to get back to attempting to sleep, but I wanted to share these thoughts.

These thoughts are in regards to those little strings or lines that people imagine in their minds connecting you with those around you. They connect you to new acquaintances, to your family, to your friends. I would like to take it further though.

It isn't just a "string" - it's what I would like to call a "rubber rope" kind of like a super rubber band. And the better you know the person, the thicker it is. I consider it like a rubber band because these aren't just ropes that can be cut and dangle away. These are relationships, and relationships have constant tension, no matter what they are. Sometimes those relationships are thick rope lifelines, which I would say would be the ropes connecting me to my parents and my relationship with my Savior. I need the tension so that when I ask, they can pull me up with their love and their words, when I may be sinking in the trials of life. Or they're just a simple thin rubber rope, probably connecting you to a good friend, and you can tug it back and forth, testing each other, playing with each other - I don't know. Just think RELATIONSHIPS.

Now I come to the other side of these "rubber" ropes. The better you know a person, the more "tight" you get, the tighter that rubber band gets pulled. Have you noticed that it is with the people you love most that you can have the most tension (or should I say CONtention?)?

Here's my main point. Imagine that rope gets cut. Someone makes a mistake or choice which removes them from those relationships. With a simple snip, they cut all those rubber relationship ropes. What happens when you let go of a tense rubber band? The person on the other end gets a painful snap. The bigger the rubber rope, the more tension, the bigger the snap. And remember, all of your relationship ropes have at least some tension, so everyone that gets cut gets a little snap.

I was pondering why the action of someone I barely know anymore could cause me to cry myself to sleep at night. It's because that person cut the ropes connecting themself to me, my family, and their family. All people I love. We all got a little snap from that. And even though it seems confusing and I don't understand why, something that barely affects me really hurt me.

You never know who your choices will affect. That can have an up-side and a down-side. On the one hand, some decisions you make can affect others for the good that you will never know about (life's cool like that). And then on the other hand, you never know what one choice will seriously hurt people. Obviously, you can't control how others react to your choices, but it really should make you rethink some stupid decisions.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Poor boys...poor girls...

I have just had the craziest week in the history of womankind. Also a kind of annoying week. First, I know what happened, because it happens every time -- it's kind of annoying how spot-on it is. Everytime I stop reading my scriptures regularly, my emotions crash into their regular depression horror of horror moods and it's like I fall into an emotional wavepool of crashing waves of death - and oh yeah, I can't swim. Ugh. This is basically what I've felt like for the past...9-10 days.

I start out just kind of blank looking. I actually titled this picture "dead inside" because that is how it feels. Please note the uncertain expressions of Spirit and NM, because not even they know what to do with me.

Then I see something sad, or different, or ya know - a flower or something. I close my eyes...Uh-oh.


And it isn't even a single occurrence. It happens in the work...playing...and even sleeping. Ok. Not SLEEPING. But you get the point.

I actually kind of feel really bad. Because it makes the people around you *really* uncomfortable. Which can be funny sometimes. But not when they don't know what they did wrong. For example, this evening Trey was attempting to be a loving brother nudging his sister out of her DEAD INSIDE zone. So he teased pouring a drop of water on me. A drop. It went something like this....
And THAT, my friends --for the sake of your family, your friends, and your co-workers-- is why you do NOT stop reading your scriptures on a regular basis! At's why I don't. :)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

...and then she woke up

Let me just start by saying - these thoughts were not prompted by Inception. I've thought this for a *long* time. I even believe sometimes that Inception was a message from my subconscious trying to tell me that my theory is correct.

So here is my theory - I believe, in reality, I am actually in a deep coma and this life is my serious coma dream. I think I may just be reliving life I've already lived in this dream (dejavu) and that in reality I'm laying in a hospital bed, my beloved husband ever present at my bedside, my children (those who aren't in comas themselves) visiting on the weekends. You see, in this reality, people are all getting sick and falling into the same type of coma I'm in. The doctors really can't do anything for you except try and keep you alive until (in your coma dream) you die.

There is only one way to survive this illness - live out your life in your dream, die in your dream, and then you have a 50/50 chance of waking up. The other chance is that you'll just die forever. Fun theory, huh?

There is other stuff, too. Since your body is gradually failing in reality (it just gets worse the longer the dream goes on, e.g. OLD AGE) the doctors really are working constantly to keep you alive. At least...they're working constantly to keep me alive. Here's what my original train of thought comes in -- HICCUPS. I'm pretty sure hiccups are the doctors trying to resuscitate your heart. Have you not noticed (or is it just me?) that your chest jerks around like in the TV shows? Just me?

Anyway. I also believe other small annoying things (like banging your elbow against a door) are the doctors and your family trying to wake you up. They do it in reality, and it just associates itself to fit into your dream. That's why you do really stupid things sometimes like just walk into the corner of a table. Not your fault. It's Reality's Doctors. Sure, they're trying to save your life, but I think we can all agree they are REALLY annoying.

Chew on that for a little while. :)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Validation validation validation!!!!

That just seems to be what the world revolves around. And since it doesn't get it, it is killing itself. Yeah I'm a happy non-cynical person. :)

But really, validation is kind of its own miracle. It is like acting for Christ directly for just one second when you tell someone they did something great, or they look great, or they are just wonderful. I went through my Facebook friends yesterday and I'd grab one here and there and post on their wall something nice - I like to think Christ would be doing that, validating everyone individually.

I didn't get everyone, and a few people wrote on MY wall, "WHAT ABOUT ME!?" -- So I told them too what I love about them. I don't think I was even IN DEPTH validating like, "I love you, Andrea, because I see how much your family means to you and what you do to protect them. It's an example to me" but you know...anyone wants to hear they're beautiful randomly. :)

Basically, I've never seen validation go wrong. And it goes two ways - as I was trying to think of what to say to people, I realized how much I love them. And it brightened my day. So, go validation! Try to validate at least ten people a day. :) See how your world changes.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Financially Aided

I knew when I started applying for financial aid that the likelihood of getting it was like...zilch. But after jumping through fifty annoying hoops to arrive at the discovery that I was "ineligible" (but hey, we can give you $10,000 of debt if you want?) I wanted to be a little grumpy.

But I refuse. I've looked at the bright side of my financial state and I'm pretty darn stable. While yes, I would've liked to save the tuition I've earned for other things (like a car, or next year's tuition), I did save it with the knowledge it would probably be going to this year's tuition.

And I still have a month of my great well-paying job to work and earn more savings for other things. Not to mention all my lovely gadgets and furniture and books which amount to a pretty big amount, and they're mine -- I'm pretty darn spoiled. And I think it all boils down to one thing.

I'm pretty much HUGELY blessed financially. My parents have taught me since my youth to save and to pay my tithing, and that is what I've done with every "paycheck" since I was probably six. I gave 10% back to the Lord, and I put 10% to my future. And somehow I still manage to have everything I want (I'm REALLY spoiled). Not only that, but my parents didn't just give me everything. When I wanted an iPod, my parents purchased it, but I spent six months paying them back. And I learned about financing, and debt, and credit because of that.

Admittedly, my parents have just "given" me a lot of things, and I am not going to deny that's the greatest thing ever. Because that's what Heavenly Father does. He gives us *everything* and there is no way we can ever pay him back. I also appreciate learning how to manage my own money, however, which is why Heavenly Father lets us manage our own lives. He could take control and still give us pretty awesome lives - but he knows by letting us control our own lives and make our own choices, we may make mistakes and go into deeper debt (sin) but it helps us grow to climb back out (even if it means swallowing our pride and acknowledging we're bankrupt and letting our big brother pay our debts for us). It also gives us a feeling of satisfaction when we don't go into debt, and we know it was our choice.

Basically, I'm thankful for being taught by my parents from a young age, to not only be financially responsible, but to be spiritually responsible. I know it's hard for them to trust me to make the right choices and not fall into "debt" - but as good parents they know like their perfect Father the right way is to teach me what they can and let me choose my own path. I feel my personal strength and testimony grow when I make big decisions for myself. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Car Troubles

Ury, dearest Ury, my first car that I ever drove completely solo - has been ill this week. It started on...well, I think it was Wednesday. I was driving home and was about a block away from the house when he just gave up and died. Literally. He just stopped. Thankfully, Trina was home and she hurried down the street to help me push him home. He turned back on a couple hours later.

This is how the rest of the week went --
  • The next morning I drove him to work. Driving through the intersection next to work, he died again, and I coasted into the parking lot which was thankfully right there.
  • After work, Stephen and Trina followed me home in Nissa, so when Ury died five minutes from home, we just left him and I walked back to get him later (about a 15 minute walk).
  • Trina and Stephen took Ury to Jiffy Lube today, and he died in that parking lot.
  • When they brought him home, he died in the garage.
Basically I have an analogy to make to this - whenever you break down, it's a short distance to assistance. Of course that analogy doesn't apply to cars all the time whatsoever - I'm so thankful Ury refrained from dying on big roads. But in life and the gospel it always holds true.

The first time Ury died, I was a short walk away from the house, and Trina was able to rush out and help. The second time, I was weary of problems and was able to keep my head when he died, so I could coast into the parking lot (and then the nice man that worked there tried to help me get him started again). The third time, we were REALLY prepared, my family driving right behind me and ready to pick me up when I broke down. The fourth time, we were fixing the problem. The fifth time, we were home safe.

Applying that to life, mistakes or trials may surprise us, but we're always within distance of assistance - even if sometimes that assistance is the Lord, and the distance is from our feet to our knees. Also, when we're wizened up about trials/temptations/afflictions, we can keep our head and remember what we're supposed to do so they don't surprise us again. And the best preparation is often having your family right behind you - that includes your heavenly brother and father. And then, as long as you're trying to fix the issues in your life, the Lord will always make sure you stay safe.

Also, I'm just throwing it out there, when trials come upon you - it is the best feeling to let others help get you through it. It was a perfectly wonderful surprise when Trina emailed me that Stephen was trying to get my car fixed. And now he is in the garage replacing my fuel pump. I like to think I'm independent, but it's nice to know I don't always have to be. Trials are an excellent opportunity to let others serve you.

...The end.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Number TWO

I love the number two. Plain and simply. My most favorite number is 22, because it is two twos, which is saying two twice. It's like an eternal amazing whammy. I first started loving the numbers because my birthday is all twos - 02/20/92 -- LOVE it.

And I know the Lord knows it. And boy do I feel special. My old wonderful wards just split into five thousand other wards - and it was tough. But my new ward? YSA 22nd. Yup. As soon as I heard that was one of the wards I thought, "Please let it be me!"

And then I was having a hard night, because I have so many big things to do. My car needs stuff done, my teeth need stuff done, I am annoyed about financial aid. I just feel so ADULTLIKE and TERRIFIED about that. But then I was going to bed, and I read my one chapter of the Book of Mormon for the evening. Oh joy, only 4-5 verses! But it was worth it. And it was, by complete "chance" - the following (note the verse number):

2 Nephi 22:2 - "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation."

I don't care if someone thinks it is coincidence. Best coincidence ever.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

I couldn't be in a horror movie...

I just had my very own horror movie excerpt...thing. Shower scene, lights that went on/off unexpectedly, a large scary man (my brother), and creepy silences. Oh yeah. That was uber fun.

We open on water rushing, steam fogging the mirrors. The heroine (me) slips off her unmentionables and prepares to step into the shower. She hears a loud bump coming from the adjoining master bathroom. She brushes it off, thinking her sister must've gotten home, or it was the cat knocking something over, or her brother using the only unoccupied bathroom. She steps in to the stream of water, starts scrubbing - after checking the door is locked, of course.

The bumping continues, at odd intervals. And not your run-of-the-mill bumps like someone dropping something. These are serious bumps, like someone moving furniture. Our heroine starts to worry. What if they're being robbed? And how perfect - she's naked. Horrible scenarios flash through her mind, but she assures herself that her sister must've gotten home. She hadn't said when she would be back, had she? It shouldn't be surprising.

Still, she feels the need to check. She turns off the water, steps out, shampoo in her hair and her leg covered in soap (she was shaving). She wraps a towel around herself, and peeks into the hallway. Yes indeed, her sister's bedroom light is on. It hadn't been before.

It's okay, she thinks, Don't freak out. She calls her sister's name gently, and there's no response. So, fast as lightning, she dashes down the hall and into her room, grabbing her car keys (and thus her pepperspray) from the bookshelf. Then, taking a deep brave breath, she treads back down the hall to stand outside her sister's room.

She calls her sister's name again, her brother-in-law's, her brother's. No response. But the lights are on. How did they get on? She can just imagine the robber standing just around the corner in the bedroom, waiting for his unsuspecting victim to walk in. She even considers checking - but she's seen the horror movies, and while she is brave enough to arm herself with pepperspray, she isn't horror-movie-heroine-brave (also called stupid). She's not about to walk into the dark basement/attic after some creepy bump in the night (or in this case, into a well-lighted room). Also, remember, she's naked and covered with soap.

So our heroine takes another breath, and dashes back down the hall, fully expecting assailants to pursue. She flies down the stairs - she's going for help. Her thoughts are only of the six-foot-six sasquatch in his lair, and how even if he is a gooey teddy bear on the inside, his exterior will frighten away any criminals.

He's startled to see her only in a towel, who wouldn't be? Calmly, she asks if he had used the master bathroom. Answer - yes. Had he turned on the light? A nod. A sigh of relief, she sags against the door-jam, and the story spills out.

He laughs. He thinks he's the real bee's-knees for scaring the daylights out of her.

And the moral of the story is - don't leave me home alone anymore.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Dear World...

Yeah right, I'm not talking to you, World! You do weird stuff like put this really gross pulpy raspberry filling in what would have otherwise been a perfectly delicious donut! ALSO - you smell funny!

I had a dilemma when I went to the store this evening. For firstly, I felt way too good about myself (meaning I felt pretty) to be in a place where you can spend money. I just saw something and thought, "Oh! I wanted that five months ago! I totally deserve it!" And then I threw it in the basket. I did that many times. And it. Felt. GREAT! I seriously don't feel bad about it because all the things I purchased I've been wanting to buy for awhile but I keep forgetting.

In case you're wondering, I did not buy any food which would be considered good for eating. I got oreos and milk. Yeah. I'm hopeless. Back to Wendy's with me!

I enjoyed FHE tonight. And then I left early still. Ha. But it was better than ward prayer LAST night when I felt like a fat lard. I'm noticing a pattern of when I like MYSELF I tend to be HAPPIER.

So the moral of the story is, if you're having a good day where you looked in the mirror and didn't go "Blegh!" -- make the best of it, go hang out with lots of people, because it'll make you happy. And other people like happy people. Also, during this time period, avoid places where you can use your debit card.

You're welcome in advance.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Monkey See Monkey Do

So Trina is restarting her blog, I figured I could be all cool and try as well. Yeah. That'll last...the next ten minutes. Anyway. I am NOT going to do happy things like her, because I find joy in pessimism. For example, Ugh. I'm so much more ATTRACTIVE than people. No one understands me and my beauty...

Not really. No seriously. Not really.

SO you want to know what I've been doing lately? Well, after breaking up with my boyfriend (we'll call him Coffee Table because that was the first thing I saw), I became an official recluse. Even church has no social interest to me. And I've been reading.

Beautiful wonderful GLORIOUS reading! It's been great. I re-read Brandon Sanderson's Elantris (pretty much awesome) and then read for the first time his The Way of Kings which was also pretty much cool (I felt really smart finding all the palindromes before anyone even mentioned they were there for a reason). I've otherwise been sifting through my library attempting to find things I want to read again. Right now I'm reading the Harry Potter books again! And The Prisoner of Azkaban is just waiting for me to put my laptop down and give it the attention it deserves. Almost there, darling, I'll be with you soon.

Oh oh oh! I work too. That's actually kind of an important part of my daily day because it is kind of the only productive part. Also, I got a raise today. I'm still a little surprised about it. My boss and I were going over a spreadsheet thing and BAM he just said, "You get a raise!" Well, if you insist, Master Wonderful Boss Man. If you insist.

Now I shall ditch this blog-writing thing for something more interesting - READING! I told you I would lose interest fast. Ha. Look at this. And Trina was concerned that she wouldn't be as deep as other people. Very well, I'll say something intelligent and wise-sounding to be an offish blogger. You may quote me. "No matter what you say, yack, or jabber -- if it has 'blogspot' in the URL, it is a blog." Thank you, all, please, have a wonderful rest of your life!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

This Morning

Someday I will introduce the other voices in my head to you (there are probably at least two more besides Spirit and NM). Well, with the four of us running around being crazy during the day, you can understand how much we like our sleep. It's our time of temporary truce where we can all just...ya know...SLEEP.

Well, it wasn't until the 4th-5th time I woke up early this morning that I realized my lights were on and were what were probably waking me up. Actually, I recall the FIRST time I woke up I thought, "Is it really noon already?!" or something. Then after that I just had to keep checking my clocks. I don't even remember which ones.

Needless to say, by the time my alarm woke me up for the CORRECT time, everyone in my head was so tired and weepy with tiredness, we were all just sort of running into each other and weeping when we did so. I think NM even said a few Spirit-like things and Spirit said a few NM-things. But how should I know? My thoughts aren't exactly organized right now.

Oh hey. Stephen just got home from clinicals. Poor boy. He's probably worse off than I, and he has to go to work in a little bit like I do.

At least this has all my voices in full agreement for once - tonight we go to bed with the light turned OFF. Also, we figure out and kill whoever turned it on. I think it might've been me. So, until further notice, We hate myself.

Sunday, February 13, 2011


I have been wanting to try out my rearranged bedroom in a sleepover, and was quite excited, but I must say I was not expecting it's first outing to be my sister crawling into bed with me at 5am because of a nightmare.

Surprisingly, Spirit was the first one up and at 'em as soon as Magoo slipped in. NM was awake quickly after but fled at the sight of emotions and the threat of compassion and comfort. Spirit quickly took charge, asking what was wrong. Magoo mumbled she'd had a nightmare and Spirit cooed and ahed sufficiently. Spirit asked if Magoo wanted to talk about it, she didn't, so we all settled. I could tell the nightmare was probably about myself or our parentals, as I'm sure Magoo's Man would've been enough comfort, so I didn't say anything.

Everyone started to go back to sleep, Spirit perched on Magoo's shoulder and rubbed her little invisible hands through her hair (she sounds like a creeper). So it was all quiet and going back to sleep. And then I heard a grumble. "She pulled away the blankets." NM tried to get me to pull some back. I heard a little thump, Spirit hitting NM with her own club, and then everyone went back to sleep.

The moral of the story is, as sickly sweet as Spirit is, she's got spunk. (Say that five times fast. Gotta love alliteration.)
P.S. If you wonder why I use "Magoo" in this post, I like to think that I'm a famous blogger which everyone reads and so I need to protect the identity of my sister by using a pet name. Thus, Magoo is the sister of Roo. It just fits.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Writing Papers with NM

I thought I'd take a break from my little English time (I have to read for it now) since I finished my midterm. Funny thing about homework, Spirit goes straight to sleep and doesn't wake up until we're done. So usually the only thoughts I'm having in regards to the homework are hateful things from Natural Man. She stays awake just to hate my homework for me and give me suggestions.

For example, today she gave me some ideas on how I could totally destroy my homework. I didn't mind it that much, but that little part of me (her) just would have rather done without. So, she suggested: setting it on fire, burying it under a tree, and busting it up with her club. All very viable options.

What a nice way to get out of doing school.

Funny thing I've noticed recently. It's humanly (I can't think of a good adverb) impossible for me to look nice on Saturdays. I just can't figure out what to do with my hair or what to wear, so I usually end up with a ugly bushy ponytail or a poofy braid or something horrible looking, and I wear a hoodie and my not-cute jeans. And usually I can't bring myself to care, because I think of Saturday as my "slum it" day. Except this Saturday I happened to run into many cute boys of my acquaintance in my horrible attire. Oh well. See, I still can't bring myself to care? But this is an interesting anomaly I thought I'd share. As you can see in my little picture above, I've dressed my little self in hoodie and horrible hair for your imagination's benefit. The end.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Voices (Part 2)

Two posts in one hour? I know, I'm unstoppable.

So I just wanted to add a little image of more of my awesome voice-liness. But this time it has me in it. Consider Natural Man and Spirit as my little shoulder devil/angel. Except Natural Man threatens to hit me with the bat if I ever go against her will. Decisions decisions.


There are two (dominant) voices inside my head. I call them Natural Man and Spirit. Contrary to what her name appears to imply, Spirit is not the epitome of my secret hippie side. She's the part of me that says, "Hey, that thought is a little risque. Maybe we should show it the back door of our brain." Natural Man is, actually, also a woman, but for some reason they both have deep voices in my head. And surprisingly, they don't always take the roads of straight righteousness and straight evil. They just like to argue sometimes. And sometimes, they are both quiet and let me live my life.

Let me give you an example of some regular conversations that occur between the two. Once upon a time I was driving home from work. I was very hungry, and I had agreed with myself that I had earned eating out if I so desired. Well as I drove home, I saw Cafe Rio.

Spirit: No no, you can make it home. We'll eat nachos.
Natural Man: Hunger. Just do it.
Spirit: Save money!
Natural Man: Money. Chaching. Agreed. Besides, we're too lazy to actually stop for food.

That is basically the conversation that repeats every time I see a fast food restaurant on the way home.

Right now, Spirit went to bed hours ago (she's very precise about the 10pm bedtime). Natural Man is dozing, and growling whenever she pops awake. Neither of them appreciate being kept up. NM usually stays up later, and she wakes up first if I wake up unexpectedly. That is why I tend to be cranky at sleepovers if people awaken me when we're supposed to be sleeping. Oops.

I once drew a cartoon picture which epitomized NM and Spirit pretty accurately. I have recreated it for you in Paint.Guess which one is which.

I hope this has given you some insight into my mind. Someday I'll map my it for you.

Also, I hope it gives you insight in regards to my artistic skill which, obviously, exceeds expectations.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Weird friends

There's nothing like having friends who are just as weird as you. Especially when they go to your same school and you get to randomly see them on campus. That actually increases the weirdness. I was walking to class and nearly ran into my short little friend Tashya, and we stopped, and blinked at each other, and I squawked. She squawked back and we hugged and suddenly we were just having a little chicken-squawk-conversation. This lasted about five seconds when we realized we were both totally insane and kinda laughed and then walked away to our respective classes, promising in our minds to never mention this again.

Ha. Yeah right. I'm blogging about it. And I mentioned it on her Facebook.

That's how cool we are. We facebooked it.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

In the event of an apocalypse...

Just as I was doing my homework of the most common nouns that go with the most commonly used lexical verbs in the English language, I glanced over at a video my mother was watching, where basically, I saw someone brushing their teeth. That is when I decided that in the event of the apocalypse where only a few certain people survive and it is necessary to kill off/eat some of the said certain people, I have decided that the dentist will be the first to go.

This is a kind of thought that has been running through the depths of my mind, down in the creepy dark file-rooms that you try not to think about because you know they must be horrible (the thoughts down there). It just came to the surface, and surprisingly, I have to agree with my dark evil side. Kill the dentist first. Who needs a dentist after the world ends really? No one cares if your teeth are white.

So, we'll eat him. I'm glad I could make this decision for everyone. I've always held to the idea that dentists are secretly evil morbid creatures that take pleasure in others' pain. What's the term? A sadist? Or masochist? Whatever. They're that. So, to take the higher road, I won't torture them before eating them. I'll make it quick.

Sorry, dentists. I can't think of anyone (except maybe your wives and children) who will disagree with me. So now that we've covered that, I'll just return to studying nouns. And then maybe I'll write some dialogue in Chinese...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If only if only...(the woodpecker cries)

About a week ago I would've said I'm in love with Samuel Johnson. No worries though, he's dead - but he wrote a SUH-WEET dictionary. As I thought this all in my brain, I realized something. I'm a nerd. I'm in love with a dead guy that wrote a dictionary. What a learning experience.

Well, I'm not in love with Sam anymore. I mean, he's a great guy - he's really smart, organized, and has a great sense of humor -- but it just wouldn't work between us. We're too much alike (nyuk nyuk nyuk). We'll just have to stay friends. Sorry, Sam, to have to tell you that in a blog (you are dead).

So yeah - I've moved on.

Now I'm in love with Epictetus!! What a great guy. If he were still alive (I am apparently really into deadies), and not a zombie, I would totally drag that guy to the altar, if you catch my meaning. Well, I would also require that he not be enslaved anymore (before marriage, that is) and it would be great if he spoke English, because as much as I "enjoyed" those two years of Latin in High School, I'm pretty sure I didn't retain any of it, and I don't want to go back there. Also, since he may have died old, it would be great if we could all fountain-of-youthify him. Thanks, Santa. That's all I ask for my birthday (excluding the novel-length list I sent you airmail).

So anyway, why do I love Epictetus you ask? Well who wouldn't? The guy was down to earth. He said cool stuff like, "If you can't control it, don't worry about it." And "If somebody insults you, don't worry about it, cause they missed a whole lot of other stuff they could've said [and that makes them idiots]." (Brackets added by Roo) So I mean really - who wouldn't want to take that lug of wisdom and stick a ring on HIS finger? Thank you, Beyonce, for forever ruining that phrase in my head. I have to go do an embarrassing dance now.