Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If only if only...(the woodpecker cries)

About a week ago I would've said I'm in love with Samuel Johnson. No worries though, he's dead - but he wrote a SUH-WEET dictionary. As I thought this all in my brain, I realized something. I'm a nerd. I'm in love with a dead guy that wrote a dictionary. What a learning experience.

Well, I'm not in love with Sam anymore. I mean, he's a great guy - he's really smart, organized, and has a great sense of humor -- but it just wouldn't work between us. We're too much alike (nyuk nyuk nyuk). We'll just have to stay friends. Sorry, Sam, to have to tell you that in a blog (you are dead).

So yeah - I've moved on.

Now I'm in love with Epictetus!! What a great guy. If he were still alive (I am apparently really into deadies), and not a zombie, I would totally drag that guy to the altar, if you catch my meaning. Well, I would also require that he not be enslaved anymore (before marriage, that is) and it would be great if he spoke English, because as much as I "enjoyed" those two years of Latin in High School, I'm pretty sure I didn't retain any of it, and I don't want to go back there. Also, since he may have died old, it would be great if we could all fountain-of-youthify him. Thanks, Santa. That's all I ask for my birthday (excluding the novel-length list I sent you airmail).

So anyway, why do I love Epictetus you ask? Well who wouldn't? The guy was down to earth. He said cool stuff like, "If you can't control it, don't worry about it." And "If somebody insults you, don't worry about it, cause they missed a whole lot of other stuff they could've said [and that makes them idiots]." (Brackets added by Roo) So I mean really - who wouldn't want to take that lug of wisdom and stick a ring on HIS finger? Thank you, Beyonce, for forever ruining that phrase in my head. I have to go do an embarrassing dance now.

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