Thursday, February 3, 2011

In the event of an apocalypse...

Just as I was doing my homework of the most common nouns that go with the most commonly used lexical verbs in the English language, I glanced over at a video my mother was watching, where basically, I saw someone brushing their teeth. That is when I decided that in the event of the apocalypse where only a few certain people survive and it is necessary to kill off/eat some of the said certain people, I have decided that the dentist will be the first to go.

This is a kind of thought that has been running through the depths of my mind, down in the creepy dark file-rooms that you try not to think about because you know they must be horrible (the thoughts down there). It just came to the surface, and surprisingly, I have to agree with my dark evil side. Kill the dentist first. Who needs a dentist after the world ends really? No one cares if your teeth are white.

So, we'll eat him. I'm glad I could make this decision for everyone. I've always held to the idea that dentists are secretly evil morbid creatures that take pleasure in others' pain. What's the term? A sadist? Or masochist? Whatever. They're that. So, to take the higher road, I won't torture them before eating them. I'll make it quick.

Sorry, dentists. I can't think of anyone (except maybe your wives and children) who will disagree with me. So now that we've covered that, I'll just return to studying nouns. And then maybe I'll write some dialogue in Chinese...

1 comment:

  1. Just before I read this, I was poking my tooth that pains me and thinking about when I'm going to the dentist.
    As a person with toothpain, I have to disagree with you. If the world is coming to an end, tooth pain will only make nice people mean.