Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Dating GuROO

Dating Guru

So I was 10% kidding about deciding not to like Greg. I still wasn't sure, wasn't making a decision, but that doesn't mean I wasn't playing with the idea. I probably tortured him a little bit with the incessant flirting and teasing and hanging on him, etc. I also made clear at times that, "I'm just a flirt" so he didn't get any ridiculous ideas (like asking me on a date) and he would say, "No really? I couldn't tell." Ha. Well played, Mr. Sarcasm.

So in our little Friend Family there are three male roommates (including Greg) and myself. Because I am a generally nosy and just overall amusing individual, I decided I'd help the rest of the Friend Family get married. I dubbed myself DATING GURU and demanded information of all their love interests and dating lives. This was done primarily through the Greg. I recall one late night Sunday evening phone call when he divulged the romantic interests of everyone, including himself, and I bestowed my gracious dating advice on him.

In this conversation he told me about one young woman named Samantha. My thought was, "Samantha. Hmm. Interesting." Not gonna lie, I was just trying to trick him into admitting he liked ME. But nooo...he actually told me about real people he had potential interest in. Whatever, dude. So I listened as he told me about this Samantha and how he wasn't sure if there was interest there but that they talked a lot sometimes and blah blah blahhhhh! I talked to him about dating, and how it isn't weird, get over it, etc. etc.

Probably weeks or months after that conversation, I got a text from Greg. Our conversation went something like this (G is Greg, T is Tess):
G: So I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?
T: Um. The good news?
G: Well, I think I may have finally gotten up the courage to ask Samantha out.
T: Okay, good. What's the bad news?
G: She may technically exist.
T: [Understanding dawns.] I just have one question for you.
G: What's that?
T: Where the flip did you get the name Samantha?
G: [Insert random explanation.]
T: [Insert lecture on why first dates don't have to be a big deal.]
G: Okay, then would you like to go out sometime?
T: How about you try that again, only this time not in text.

Yeah, I made him call me on the actual phone. According to him, he was SO nervous. He was DYING. So he called me. Our conversation went something like this:
G: Hey.
T: [Sigh] Hi.
G: I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me sometime.
T: Sure.
G: Sure?
T: Sorry. Yes.

Hahaha - I can't say I was pleased that I now had to make a decision about whether I wanted to really date this boy or not. He ruined all my flirting fun. I thought he'd be a wimp forever. Dang it.

So it turns out that this "Samantha" person had been me all along. Apparently he had actually been about to name her JESS when he realized that was too close. Anyway. So he asked me out. Yayyyy dating...


Greg didn't actually have a date plan when he asked me. He had to call me back when he figured it out. He said he barely made it through the actual asking. Well, he chose the DINOSAUR MUSEUM. To be honest, my first thought when he said, "How do you feel about the dinosaur museum?" was, "For reals? Oh...yay...." I wasn't totally thrilled. It was a little weird to me.

BUT it was fun. When I was focused on having good social skills, it was good times. The dinosaur museum itself was pretty fun. Greg is a Biology major and he thus took it upon himself to explain the exhibits to me. My favorite part was when we'd be walking up to a dinosaur statue and Greg would try to name it and he would be wrong 90% of the time. It was wonderfully amusing to me.

Date one - pretty good success.


After the first date, Greg and I started seeing a lot of each other (moreso than when we were just good buddies). We started watching LOST together at my apartment. This did not include cuddling or hand-holding. It was a perfect opportunity and he didn't take it. After months and months of dancing around and flirting, I thought it was a pretty good time to be doing these things, but he didn't. I suppose it was a good thing, but at the time I was wondering what was taking so long.

So I don't recall exactly whether it was before or after our second date that he came over and took care of me while I was sick, but that was very sweet too...just thought I'd mention that. One of our couch pillows smelled like him for days. Not that I noticed.

A week or two after the Dinosaur Museum, we went on a double/triple group date thing with some friends of ours. It was at the end of October so we went to the corn maze at Cornbelly's. We went through multiple mazes and I FINALLY got him to hold my hand. Kind of. It was more that "I'm-holding-your-hand-loosely-to-guide-you-through-the-maze" kind of holding. The second maze this occurred in I was hoping would be more of a "we're-holding-hands-for-real" holding. No go. He let go of my hand altogether and I gave up. He let go and disappeared so I marched away. I had been in this particular maze before so I knew the way out.

I learned later that he had been disappearing so he could jump out and scare me, but I disappeared. Then on his way out he got deafened by an air cannon. Oops. Oh well.

Date two - less of a success so much.


  1. Look at me, writing a comment on your actual post. I'm excited for you to actually start holding hands and kissing and stuff. Get to that part!

  2. It's still super weird to me that you're getting married. I still think of you as the baby of our Vivint group..... little baby is all grown up now...

    1. Haha I was eighteen when I was at Vivint, not THAT much of a baby (but yes, still too little to have been getting married :)).

    2. Well, since I remember thinking 24 year olds were ancient when I was 18, it only makes sense that 18 year olds are babies to 20-something me.

  3. Well as I watch you two sitting next to me u definitely got comfortable "holding hands" :) and it was fun to read about dates I never knew about before

  4. This is actually a very accurate description of what happened (at least the conversation parts). Granted, I am a biology major and I do think the dinosaur museum is pretty cool... That wasn't quite why I chose it. I wanted to do something that would be considered memorable/never done before and I think I achieved those goals flawlessly. And in my defense, I thought a lot about holding hands with you and/or cuddling with you... all the time actually, but I could never gage how you were feeling about the idea. Anyways, your description of the events are much more interestingly enjoyable than they would be if I were writing this. Continue writing please! ;)

  5. he reminds me of Stephen in some of your stories haha you go from not wanting him to act like you're dating to questioning WHY he isn't holding your hand. Stephen held my hand during ice skating so I wouldn't fall and I was like, "FINALLY!" but then nope, that was it.
    I want to go to the dinosaur museum.