Sunday, June 16, 2013

A Father's Day Miracle

First, I want to tell you a joke. It is one of the few jokes of its nature that I actually find amusing. More on that in a bit.

So this guy asks Jane on a date. She is SO excited. He comes to pick her up and as he's walking her to his car she realizes she has to fart SO BAD. He opens her door and she gets in the car, and as he walks around to his side, she lets it rip loud and hard. Whew! He gets in the car and says, gesturing to the back seat, "This is Bob and Sarah, they're doubling with us tonight." Jane turns around and sees a guy and girl looking a little green around the gills.

Heh. So yeah, I don't do "potty humor." I am a bit of a prude in that way, but I had an experience tonight that has changed my perspective forever...

First of all...


I don't know about you, but I have a great dad. He is one of the hardest working men I know: at work, at church, and at home. Besides that, he's like a big teddy bear that loves his kids like crazy and shows it in so many ways. An example of this was a moment when I was visiting home last month. My dad came home from Youth Conference and was sharing an experience where he was comparing one of his kids to ME and as he started talking about how proud he is of me he burst into tears. It was really sweet. That's my daddy.

Anyway, tonight I was celebrating Father's Day with my FUTURE father-in-law! Greg and I had dinner with his family and were playing games. So here's how that perspective changing tale went...

It was a riveting game of golf (Greg wrote that first line :) he's great). That would be the card game, not the one with clubs. Greg's sisters and parents faced us across the table, Greg and I beside each other. The game was proceeding as could be expected. Shuffling, dealing, drawing, discarding. playing---you get the drill.

There we sat in good family companionship when BAM! In the midst of a friendly family rapport, someone let one rip. It was shocking. It was loud. It was me.

I was mortified.

What had I done!!? I barely knew these people! My life was over! I'd have to change my name and move and find a new fiance and family to start over with. I'd ruined my chances with these people. I saw their heads turn slowly in our direction. Then it happened. Something I was not expecting. Their eyes slid past me and landed on Greg.

"Ewwww, Greg!" says Kilie.

"Come on, Greg! Really?!" his mom said.

Really? I thought. Were they really blaming it on Greg? I looked at him to see what his reaction was and he just shook his head laughing. Was he really going to let me get away with this?

"Sorry, sorry, everyone!" he said. I stared suspiciously. Did he rip one at the same time or was he just a  wonderful person?

(I just had to hush Greg because he was trying to tell the story for me. Sheesh, get your own blog, buster!)

"You better get used to that, Tess, he does it a lot," Stacie said. "I'm surprised he didn't blame it on the chair!"

"It was the chair," Greg said. I wondered if he really thought it was the chair or if he really was just a wonderful person. Everyone was laughing heartily and teasing him endlessly. He was blushing A LOT and they pointed it out. I felt very self-conscious as I KNEW my face was BURNING.

But I laughed right along with them, mocking the poor fool. I imagined talking to him about it later, laughing then, and laughing for forever. I thought, "Dang, I sure love this guy."

As the minutes passed, the family laughing, I wondered how they weren't getting suspicious of HOW MUCH I WAS LAUGHING. Surely they'd notice my panicked laughter once everyone else had calmed? Surely they'd wonder? Surely they'd KNOW! I had thought all the while, "Well, this is great, they'll just think it was him forever and my reputation will be secure." I was going to let it go, let him be my fall guy.

I'm horrible at dishonesty though. My eyes get shifty and my cheeks get red and I get a little loud and obnoxious. Just ask any of my relatives that have tried to get me to cheat at Pictionary. I decided I had to come clean.

"It was me."

I raised my hand and buried my laughing face in Greg's shoulder. There was a hesitation as his family took in the news. Then I heard his dad roar. His sisters laughed. I looked up, and we all laughed harder. His mom rubbed her eyes. For ten minutes, there was solid laughter. We were all tearing up.

I assured Greg that I would love him forever for this service he had rendered to me.

What kind of guy just takes the blame like that? He didn't blink an eyelid, he just went with it. That, my friends, is true love. Ladies and gentlemen, the future father of my children.